Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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