Porn is love you can see.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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