3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
