end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
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