ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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