Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
