We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
