I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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