im gay
i know
yea but for you.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
