my vag is so smooth its legendary
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
