who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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