I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
