Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize