Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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