I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
