You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
We have so much sex to catch up on
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
