My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
