I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I just found a bag of teeth...
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
