Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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