Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
