I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
