i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
