No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
