Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I checked into jail on foursquare
should my penis look like a turkey
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
My dick has a subreddit
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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