watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
