Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
