halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize