i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
