apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
