cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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