I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
