Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
