Yo dont text me then not text me
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
