Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
