I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize