Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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