i'm signing you up for texting rehab
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
