the day after is always just damage control
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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