super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize