Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
