hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
