i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
