i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
