I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
