i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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