Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
