just come out here and I will go home with you...
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
he fucked my hip out of place.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Randomize
