Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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