It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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