Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
