What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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