it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
