I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize