I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
