Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize