Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Randomize
