I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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