She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
