i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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