apparently the secret to your success is patron
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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