Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
