allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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